Welcome to the ultimate feel-good show – Psych! If you’re a fan of hilarious banter, quirky characters, and solving crimes with a side of pineapple, then you’re in for a treat. From unforgettable Psych quotes to the best Shawn Spencer moments, this show is guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and lift your spirits faster than you can say “I’ve heard it both ways.” So grab your pineapple smoothie and get ready to dive into the world of psychic detective shenanigans with Shawn Spencer and his trusty sidekick Gus. Let’s get ready to laugh our way through some seriously good vibes!
65 Best Psych Quotes
1. “I’m just getting started, you giant cockroach. You know what? That was out of line. I apologize to cockroaches everywhere, especially Jiminy Cricket, although for the first time in thirty years, it occurs to me… he might be a cricket.”
— Shawn Spencer
2. “Only what we learned from The Fast and The Furious. So… everything.”
— Shawn Spencer
3. “I’m not big on nude handshakes.”
— Carlton Lassiter
4. “Good morning detectives, collecting money for the Policeman’s ball?”
—Shawn Spencer
5. “Gus wants to know if your boat has cable. It’s the season finale of Leverage and his TiVo’s on the fritz.”
— Shawn Spencer
6. “He has a Masters in Psychology and Criminology from Harvard AND an MBA!”
— Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
7. “I can’t help it, Shawn, my body craves buttery goodness.”
— Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
8. “Injury-free since June, when Gus broke his finger flipping the injury countdown calendar.”
— Shawn Spencer
9. “Shawn: I’m Shawn and this is my associate, M. C. Clap Your Handz.”
— Shawn Spencer
10. “The chips say you’re a cheater, cheater pumpkin eater!”
—Shawn Spencer
11. “Don’t ever say that name, Shawn. Besides, I know it was you who started that.”
— Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
12. “Everyone stop whatever you’re doing and only pay attention to me.”
— Shawn Spencer
13. “We take our hand-held entertainment very seriously.”
— Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
14. “Chief, if I may. Lassie spoke to us all about a week ago about wearing sunglasses to all autopsies moving forward to show respect for the dead. I simply forgot. And Gus refused because he has no value for human life.”
— Shawn Spencer
15. “Take lots of pictures. Not of sights. Don’t take pictures of buildings. Take pictures of moments, because that’s what matters.”
— Shawn Spencer
16. “I look up to Brett Favre, but that doesn’t mean I believe everything he says. Alright, that’s a bad example. It’s those tearful press conferences, man. They get me every time.”
— Shawn Spencer
17. “Oh, you mean my pilot’s license? That’s out back in the Cessna. Or perhaps you’re referring to my license to kill. Revoked. Trouble at the Kazakhstan border. I could give you the details but then I’d have to kill you, which I can’t do because my license to kill has been revoked.”
—Shawn Spencer
18. “Partners do not lie to each other, because partners put their lives in each other’s hands.”
— Carlton Lassiter
19. “Falling in love with you was never part of the plan, okay? This whole thing started because my ass was on the line. Self-preservation, Jules – you got to understand that. I didn’t have a choice. And then we sort of found a groove, and by the time you showed up, it was so much fun. I put away, like, over a hundred criminals. Most of them were murderers. I’m good at what I do. And what I do, it’s good, isn’t it?”
— Shawn Spencer
Related: 70 Best All the Bright Places Quotes
20. “That owl is made entirely out of cinnamon!”
— Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
21. “Younger? Who do you think she’s meeting with, Justin Bieber?”
— Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
22. “That’s interesting– just yesterday you told me you intend on having your wedding in space.”
— Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
23. “Remember, Dad, you treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a goddess, then a person again.”
—Shawn Spencer
24. “It’s a gift that I bust out on rare occasions and almost all the time.”
— Shawn Spencer
25. “Well, the plot, unlike your hair, continues to thicken.”
— Shawn Spencer
26. “It was just a small stream. It wasn’t like the end of Carrie or the beginning of Carrie.”
— Shawn Spencer
27. “I will eat you in manageable, bite-sized pieces.”
— Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
28. “You’ve seen it all through the cracks in your fingers while you were hiding your eyes.”
— Shawn Spencer
29. “I can’t help being a gorgeous friend. It’s just the card I drew.”
— Shawn Spencer
30. “They tell me I got something called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. But, uh, the truth is this lustrous hair and dimpled chin are merely chapter one. I’m a veritable cornucopia of high-octane maladies, such as outrageous intelligence syndrome. And a little obsessive successful disorder.”
— Shawn Spencer
31. “Man, I’m nobody’s charity case. I demand to dig my own grave!”
— Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
32. I don’t know if it’s this uniform, but I’ve never craved doughnuts before in my life.”
— Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
33. “Guster, you have to wake up to the real world: people have sex and kill each other. That’s the real world. Not some magical ‘feelings’ place.”
— Carlton Lassiter
34. “I’m nobody’s pawn, Shawn. I’m a Queen.”
— Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
35. “Detective Lassiter, why are you wearing sunglasses at an autopsy?
— Chief Vick
36. “I get productive when I’m nervous.”
— Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
37. “Man, I’m nobody’s charity case. I demand I dig my own grave!”
— Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
38. “I can’t help being a gorgeous fiend. It’s just the card I drew.”
— Shawn Spencer
39. “Just because you put syrup on something don’t make it pancakes.”
— Shawn Spencer
40. “She’s obviously meeting a new boy toy. Maybe one even younger than the last.”
— Lassiter
41. “Hang on Doogie. Where’d you get that juice box and does it come in grapalicious?”
— Shawn Spencer
42. “Hello! I’m Shawn Spencer. This is my partner Radio Star. I’m afraid your video will kill him.”
— Shawn Spencer
43. “I can’t watch Channel 8 anymore. Lloyd Lansing wears a toupee. It’s like every newscast begins with a lie.”
— Shawn Spencer
44. “We’re so far off the grid I think we may be back on the grid.”
— Shawn Spencer
45. “The truth is, I want to change, I need to change.”
— Shawn Spencer
46. “How can you tell that someone’s a compulsive liar? I mean, assuming that their pants aren’t on fire.”
—Shawn Spencer
47. “You’re acting like a child, Shawn.”
— Juliet
48. “What isn’t clear is why people always say ‘goes without saying,’ yet still feel compelled to say the thing that was supposed to go without saying. Doesn’t that bother you?”
— Shawn Spencer
49. “How much blood was it exactly, Shawn?
— Henry
50. “Well, much like Lady Gaga, I was born this way.”
— Shawn Spencer
51. “Get outta here. He’s got a Monkey Basketball League?”
— Shawn Spencer
52. “I don’t lose things. I place things in locations which later elude me.”
— Shawn Spencer
53. “Sorry, I was too busy James bonding it up in here.”
— Shawn Spencer
54. “Okay, you guys are actually devolving.”
— Juliet O’Hara
55. “What do you two know about street racing anyway?”
— Lassiter
56. “I’m just saying, technology is way overrated.”
— Shawn Spencer
57. I would rather learn to play the harp.”
— Carlton Lassiter
58. “The spirits tell me your little pants are on fire.”
— Shawn Spencer
59. “I AM NOT ACTING!”
— Shawn Spencer
60. “I’m having a clear vision on a cloudy day.”
— Shawn Spencer
61. “I still smell like stinky nuts!”
— Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
62. “I’m the cream in a crying sandwich.”
— Shawn Spencer
63. “Come on, let’s hug it out.”
— Shawn Spencer
Related: 45 Best Gurren Lagann Quotes
64. “How about you play six degrees of kiss my ass?”
— Burton ‘Gus’ Guster
65. “Which means it is both wise and delicious.”
— Shawn Spencer
66. “Holy crap, are you checking your email?”
— Shawn Spencer
At Quotes Dome, we curate the best of quotes for everyone to consume. We hope you enjoyed reading our list of Psych Quotes. If yes, then you will definitely love this list of the best Bart Simpson quotes
