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Boomhauer is a sure bachelor with a taste for the Texas Ranger and speeding car, women, and tiger-print bikini underwear. Boomhaur Hill hangs out in the alley drinking beer with family friends and Dale, Bill, and Hank. He is famous for his quick pattern of embarrassed, almost understandable speech. It seems to be genetic, as her grandmother, brother and other members of the Boomerang family speak in a similar way. In high school, his infamous 60s mustang was called “Mrs. Sally,” but after Hank, Bill, and Dale had to get a new car to play a joke on him, he accidentally took it to a mine. While in high school with three others, he played on the football team as a starting quarterback. Boomhaur’s friends consider him a source of good advice.

15 Best Boomhauer Quotes

boomhauer quotes

1. “Dang ol’ destiny, man. Talkin’ ’bout the planets align, just like a big ol’ dipper, man.”

— Boomhauer

2. “Yeah man, I tell ya what, man, that dang ol’ internet, man, you just go in on there and point and click, talk about w-w-dot-w-com, mean you got the naked chicks on there, man, just go click, click, click, click, click, it’s real easy, man.”

— Boomhauer

3. “Yeah man I tell ya what…Did one of them snipe hunts last night man with them sticks and bags and Whack! Whack! Man, go Woooo-loo-loo! … Talk about big mistake y’all… It’s right there in that cooler.”

— Boomhauer

4. “You know we talked about destiny and the big ol’ dipper, man? Well, I’m just like the North Star, I’m always gonna be there, man… just like dang ol’ UPS and Hertz Gold, man.”

— Boomhauer

5. “I tell you what, man, you see the part where dang ol‘George come in there and he’s talkin’ ’bout tasting his own burp and Kramer comes slllliiiidin‘in there, he always does that. The New York boys, I tell you what…just a show about nothin’.”

— Boomhauer

6. “Man I tell you what Hank bout there-that dang ol meaning o’life, man. It’s like this man. You’ like a butterfly flappin ‘is wings deep down in that forest man an’ it gonna cause a tree fall like five thousand miles away man. If-an ain’t no body see it nobody don-done-e’en know it happen you know ibda baby born into this world int’know neck god dang friends got no nothin but da go come into find out about em ol evil man. Man see like, you don’t even know man. When-dyagon it’d like you born into this world man and you got — it’s like this: dust in the wind man, or like a dang ol’ candle in the wind man. You gon — it don matter man it’s not the old oldies all th’ time man. You know what I think man? It’d like the the dang ol – I think therefore you are man.”

— Boomhauer

7. “Dang ol‘love, man.”

— Boomhauer

8. “I… I don’t wanna say nothin’ ’bout dang ol’…”

— Boomhauer

9. “For God’s sake, Hank, act like an adult, and keep it down, guys, will you? I am trying to get through an article on vintage Camaros, and I’ve been on the same dang page for twenty minutes.”

— Boomhauer

10. “I tell you what man, that Y2K man. That old mainframe gonna come crashin’ down on that old grid, man.”

— Boomhauer

11. “This is your lungs on air. This is your lungs on smoke. See the difference, man? It’s going to stunt your growth all over, you’ll end up lyin’ in that dang ol‘ hospital bed like Morton Downey, Jr., Robert Downey, Jr. even worse, man, yo. Talk about oral gratification all that dang it, is going to give you a low sperm count, man, give ear hair, yo. It just ain’t… ain’t no good.”

— Boomhauer

12. “Maybe why don’t I show you something size “Boom?”

— Boomhauer

13. “Hey, man, I ain’t got no dang ol’ problem here, man… tell you what, worry a little about that son of yours, man, carryin’ a dang ol’ burger on a pillow.”

— Boomhauer

14. “Dang….ol’…mega…lo….mart”

— Boomhauer

15. “Man, you gotta think ’bout turnin’ over a new leaf with ol’ Katherine, man… got a lotta vows, man… talkin’ ’bout vows!”

— Boomhauer

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